I guess as we get older we will start losing friends in one way or another. I'd rather lose a friend because of something trivial, some misunderstanding or small betrayal or something. I'd rather lose a friend to anything other than death.
Yesterday was one of many horrible-news bearing days. I found out through looking at friends profiles on MySpace.com that a friend was killed in a motorcycle accident last week. What a way to find out huh? No one bothered to drop me an email much less a phone call. I hadn't spoken to Scott in over a year, but that doesn't mean that I didn't hold him in the same place in my heart that I had when we spoke everyday.
Scott was 24, he loved motorcycles. When I met him we were working together and developed a very close friendship. He wasn't interested in me nor I in him, but we loved each other as only friends do. He helped me get through one of the hardest times in my life. When I left my husband due to the suspicion of abuse. Scott was there, helping me get through every day. Scott would take me to a park and we would just sit and talk and lay on the grass... Scott would play with my kids like an older brother. He is/was amazing and I will remember him forever.
I can't believe that my Scotty is gone. He called me Natty, he was the only one to ever nickname me that. I don't understand this world. He was 24 for god's sake. He had a heart bigger than Texas and a smile that wouldn't quit. I'll never forget that smile, and I'll never forget the friend I miss so much.
Now, I would appreciate any sorts of good news, because my life has been REALLY lacking in that this last year, but mostly the last 2 weeks (other than when I lost my Dad of course) have been one thing after another. A friend of mine sent me a cute email with a picture of a donkey and the story of how he fell in a well so the owner decided to just shovel dirt on it and bury it. Well the cute donkey shook of the dirt and stepped up on it with every shovel load. Of course, the owner piles enough dirt that the donkey then shakes off that the donkey is freed. It was supposed to make me feel inspired or something I'm sure - but you know, I wrote her back and said that IF it were dirt, sure I could shake it off.. But, I'm not getting dirt piled on me, it's nothing but SHIT - Which is sticky, ewey and gooey - I don't feel like digging my way out at this point.
My purpose in this story - email me or comment me with any good news you have, even if it has nothing to do at all with my life, I need to hear good news.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Happy Hump Day!
This morning I had a ton of things that I wanted to write about and nothing is coming to mind now... WTH? lol
One thing that's been on my mind a lot - Hopes and Dreams & Contentment (is that a word?)
Contentment - Will I ever reach that? I love so many different things that it's often hard for me to nail down something I want because I might be just as much in love with the exact opposite of that one thing. Does that make sense? Probably not, but if you know me at all, then you know my lack of ability in decision making. It's usually the problem I face because I like so many different things.
For example - I want my own land, I want acres and acres of forest, streams or a river running through it, my own organic farm, my own animals for meats and dairy, chickens for eggs, and my family all pitching in to make it happen. We would limit what we bought so then I would be able to stay home and raise my family and be as self sufficient as possible. I want to know where my food comes from, watch it grow and pick it at it's peak with my own 2 hands.
Another dream - The exact opposite. I love the idea of living in the middle of the city, with all of the entertainment and culture that I need just a few steps out my door. I want to be able to walk down the street and have sushi for lunch, walk to the farmers market and enjoy the busy downtown district. Walk my dogs around the block to the park. Get what I'm saying?
So maybe you can understand now why I wonder if I will ever be content - Ever!?
One thing that's been on my mind a lot - Hopes and Dreams & Contentment (is that a word?)
Contentment - Will I ever reach that? I love so many different things that it's often hard for me to nail down something I want because I might be just as much in love with the exact opposite of that one thing. Does that make sense? Probably not, but if you know me at all, then you know my lack of ability in decision making. It's usually the problem I face because I like so many different things.
For example - I want my own land, I want acres and acres of forest, streams or a river running through it, my own organic farm, my own animals for meats and dairy, chickens for eggs, and my family all pitching in to make it happen. We would limit what we bought so then I would be able to stay home and raise my family and be as self sufficient as possible. I want to know where my food comes from, watch it grow and pick it at it's peak with my own 2 hands.
Another dream - The exact opposite. I love the idea of living in the middle of the city, with all of the entertainment and culture that I need just a few steps out my door. I want to be able to walk down the street and have sushi for lunch, walk to the farmers market and enjoy the busy downtown district. Walk my dogs around the block to the park. Get what I'm saying?
So maybe you can understand now why I wonder if I will ever be content - Ever!?
Happy Hump Day!
This morning I had a ton of things that I wanted to write about and nothing is coming to mind now... WTH? lol
One thing that's been on my mind a lot - Hopes and Dreams & Contentment (is that a word?)
Contentment - Will I ever reach that? I love so many different things that it's often hard for me to nail down something I want because I might be just as much in love with the exact opposite of that one thing. Does that make sense? Probably not, but if you know me at all, then you know my lack of ability in decision making. It's usually the problem I face because I like so many different things.
For example - I want my own land, I want acres and acres of forest, streams or a river running through it, my own organic farm, my own animals for meats and dairy, chickens for eggs, and my family all pitching in to make it happen. We would limit what we bought so then I would be able to stay home and raise my family and be as self sufficient as possible. I want to know where my food comes from, watch it grow and pick it at it's peak with my own 2 hands.
Another dream - The exact opposite. I love the idea of living in the middle of the city, with all of the entertainment and culture that I need just a few steps out my door. I want to be able to walk down the street and have sushi for lunch, walk to the farmers market and enjoy the busy downtown district. Walk my dogs around the block to the park. Get what I'm saying?
So maybe you can understand now why I wonder if I will ever be content - Ever!?
One thing that's been on my mind a lot - Hopes and Dreams & Contentment (is that a word?)
Contentment - Will I ever reach that? I love so many different things that it's often hard for me to nail down something I want because I might be just as much in love with the exact opposite of that one thing. Does that make sense? Probably not, but if you know me at all, then you know my lack of ability in decision making. It's usually the problem I face because I like so many different things.
For example - I want my own land, I want acres and acres of forest, streams or a river running through it, my own organic farm, my own animals for meats and dairy, chickens for eggs, and my family all pitching in to make it happen. We would limit what we bought so then I would be able to stay home and raise my family and be as self sufficient as possible. I want to know where my food comes from, watch it grow and pick it at it's peak with my own 2 hands.
Another dream - The exact opposite. I love the idea of living in the middle of the city, with all of the entertainment and culture that I need just a few steps out my door. I want to be able to walk down the street and have sushi for lunch, walk to the farmers market and enjoy the busy downtown district. Walk my dogs around the block to the park. Get what I'm saying?
So maybe you can understand now why I wonder if I will ever be content - Ever!?
Friday, August 25, 2006
Yard Sales
Today I was going to do a yard sale. I posted it on Craigslist and everything - But, it's not working out. I tried to go and edit my post, it says that it was changed successfully, but it still says that it's on Friday too. Argh. I just need the furniture taken outside, but I can't manage it by myself so I'll have to wait for Adrian to get home.
Yesterday we decided that we had to do something to help with the money situation, and the house feels cluttered, so why not do a yard sale. Well because typically it's not a good idea to decide that the day before you are planning on hosting it! My house is thrashed because I've been too busy running through everything and digging for more stuff to sell! HA! What a joke. I hate my house right now... It's just plain filthy, there's dishes to be done, tons and tons of laundry to be done... I'm so sick of laundry! 6 people, 5 of them girls (meaning they have dress up clothes, skirts, skorts, shorts, jeans, dresses and more than the jeans/shorts combo's that boys have) equals a LOT of laundry. Dear Lord, if there is a Lord, HELP ME!
Ok, I'm off to go find some coffee and start the endless loads of laundry! Wish me luck!
Yesterday we decided that we had to do something to help with the money situation, and the house feels cluttered, so why not do a yard sale. Well because typically it's not a good idea to decide that the day before you are planning on hosting it! My house is thrashed because I've been too busy running through everything and digging for more stuff to sell! HA! What a joke. I hate my house right now... It's just plain filthy, there's dishes to be done, tons and tons of laundry to be done... I'm so sick of laundry! 6 people, 5 of them girls (meaning they have dress up clothes, skirts, skorts, shorts, jeans, dresses and more than the jeans/shorts combo's that boys have) equals a LOT of laundry. Dear Lord, if there is a Lord, HELP ME!
Ok, I'm off to go find some coffee and start the endless loads of laundry! Wish me luck!
Monday, August 21, 2006
Girls Adventure
Ok, so I decided that I would take all the girls out for a camping trip, just the 5 of us. We wanted to go somewhere new, but close enough to where Adrian could meet up with us and we wouldn't waste too much money on the darn gas!
We chose a place and, of course, we didn't get started until later in the day. We pulled into the park (after a 2 hour trip had turned into 4) and it's almost 7pm. We drive through the entire park and there is ZERO spots that aren't reserved for the entire weekend. What are 5 ladies in the middle of nowhere to do with no camping sites, no maps (my bad, I stupidly brought them in the house on accident when cleaning out the car) and no way to set up a tent in the dark, not to mention the fact that we don't have a place to set up!!! Well we call home and try to get Adrian to find the state park website, but unfortunately, he wasn't home! I called one of my best buds, Jenn, to find me some info online. We found a KOA that wasn't too far from us, about 45 minutes away, which meant that we had to get a cabin - which we could barely afford.
We got our cabin and by then, it was beyond dark and we barely got everything unloaded and ate some dinner, cheese sandwiches. Well at least it was an adventure, right? So, Adrian calls me back at 11pm and attempts to find a park for us to camp at since we certainly can't afford to stay that cabin (though it would have been nice!). I packed up the 4 kids and 2 dogs once again, and we headed out. First though, we had to go to town, Twin Falls, and replace the freakin' shoes that the damn dog had chewed up while the rest of us slept. He also ate my one and only $45 V.S. bra!!! But after all of the unexpected expenses coming up, I certainly couldn't afford to replace that right away!
We headed back toward Mountain Home, which was closer to home, and found a state park on the way. Three Island Crossing, was the park we stayed at. It was beautiful and rested along the snake river. We found a site that had great privacy (well as private as you can get in a public park!) and Adrian met us there that evening after work. Good thing he showed up because I found that there wasn't any good firewood to be gathered and he had pallets from work. Not only that, but I had also forgotten the air mattress pump! Also, Adrian usually ends up packing up the tent, well he had packed it last time and not included the plastic joints that you NEED for setting up! He had them in a box near the tent, but I didn't know that was what they were for!
We had a great time though! So the next time we head out on an adventure like that, I'll try to be a little more prepared!
We chose a place and, of course, we didn't get started until later in the day. We pulled into the park (after a 2 hour trip had turned into 4) and it's almost 7pm. We drive through the entire park and there is ZERO spots that aren't reserved for the entire weekend. What are 5 ladies in the middle of nowhere to do with no camping sites, no maps (my bad, I stupidly brought them in the house on accident when cleaning out the car) and no way to set up a tent in the dark, not to mention the fact that we don't have a place to set up!!! Well we call home and try to get Adrian to find the state park website, but unfortunately, he wasn't home! I called one of my best buds, Jenn, to find me some info online. We found a KOA that wasn't too far from us, about 45 minutes away, which meant that we had to get a cabin - which we could barely afford.
We got our cabin and by then, it was beyond dark and we barely got everything unloaded and ate some dinner, cheese sandwiches. Well at least it was an adventure, right? So, Adrian calls me back at 11pm and attempts to find a park for us to camp at since we certainly can't afford to stay that cabin (though it would have been nice!). I packed up the 4 kids and 2 dogs once again, and we headed out. First though, we had to go to town, Twin Falls, and replace the freakin' shoes that the damn dog had chewed up while the rest of us slept. He also ate my one and only $45 V.S. bra!!! But after all of the unexpected expenses coming up, I certainly couldn't afford to replace that right away!
We headed back toward Mountain Home, which was closer to home, and found a state park on the way. Three Island Crossing, was the park we stayed at. It was beautiful and rested along the snake river. We found a site that had great privacy (well as private as you can get in a public park!) and Adrian met us there that evening after work. Good thing he showed up because I found that there wasn't any good firewood to be gathered and he had pallets from work. Not only that, but I had also forgotten the air mattress pump! Also, Adrian usually ends up packing up the tent, well he had packed it last time and not included the plastic joints that you NEED for setting up! He had them in a box near the tent, but I didn't know that was what they were for!
We had a great time though! So the next time we head out on an adventure like that, I'll try to be a little more prepared!
Blogging here for the first time!
So I have friends that are not MSN friendly, and friends that can't stand the blog that I currently use. So today I'm starting a blog here, so that hopefully it can be viewed by all that are interested in my everyday wierdness.
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