Ranting, Ranting and More Ranting!

What is wrong with me this week? My stomach has been "icky" all week, I've been incredibly bitchy (Poor kids & Adrian). I know a few things for sure, I've been eating crap-food and that's what's going on with my tummy (duh) except that even the next day I just feel like crap. But the bitchi-ness... I don't know. There is a lot of turmoil going on in my head and I guess it's just eating me up in such a way that I'm lashing out at everyone with evil-bitch attitude. I don't mean to, I really don't.

There's the friend issue - repairing a few relationships and at the same time letting go to a few very negative and hurtful relationships... that's not easy stuff you know!

Then there's the "quirks" about my house that I'm extremely frustrated with. Our water decides a few times a day to disappear and that means I have to hike up the little road behind me to the well, to restart the pump. Which is ok, sometimes, but when you have conditioner in your hair and shave gel drying to your legs and other unmentionables when the water goes out and you have to take that hike... NOT cool at all. It goes out every time I use the washing machine. Which means that I'm just not doing laundry like I should be because it irritates me so. Then there's the power bill that I got on my door Monday, letting me know that I need to reimburse them for what they paid for my portion. Well, when I moved in, they told me that the power was included in my rent. So this all makes me wonder "WHAT'S NEXT?". There's other little things too... but I will continue this rant another time.

Then there's the house that is "possibly" coming up for rent right next to a girlfriends house which is in the area closer to Boise that I wanted to be at in the first place. It's on the same driveway - she is a single mom and Adrian is gone a lot so having each other out here in the sticks would be nice. It'd be nice to make big dinners a couple of nights a week and share meals, trade off the kids and do a garden together. But who the hell wants to move twice in two months? And I like the little tiny town I live so close to that I could walk to. But but but but but!!!!

Then there is also the garden, which I have seeds, dirt, compost and starts for. But I am certainly not going to start that garden just to have to move and leave it.

On that same note, who wants to bother getting unpacked when they don't know if they will be moving out in a few weeks anyway??? So I haven't bothered making this feel like home and I think that's a lot of my turmoil in my head, just not feeling at home or really settled.

We won't know about that other house for 10 days or so, the guy is on vacation and is going to decide if he'll rent it out or keep living in it by the time he gets back. So I have to just sit, restlessly, sit still and keep up the everyday.

This turned into a book! I'll stop for the day and hopefully now that I've totally ranted I will feel good enough to clean up and do some laundry. I have SO many chores and shit to do it's just rediculous.

Oh, one more thing. My cat is swelling. She brought home a big boy kitty when we first moved in and now she is swelling, she's probably twice her normal body weight now. lol. Yes, I realize I should have had her fixed, and she will be after she has these babies. :)